Ever wonder what you would look like after a face lift? Don’t. Below are my before-and-after results from LiftMagic.com. I look like a frickin alien, no? To be fair, I did crank up every possible “enhancement” to 100%, but this confirmed one thing for me. You cannot improve on the perfection of my beautiful face. (Ha.)
The Graveyard Book is Neil Gaiman’s latest work for children coming out in September. Now I don’t remember what it was like to be 10 or 11, but his man in his forties loved this novel. No one writes books with appeal to all ages as well as Neil Gaiman. Borrowing a concept from Kipling’s The Jungle Book, which tells the story of an orphan raised in the jungle, The Graveyard Book features a toddler who wanders out of the house and into the graveyard after his family is brutally murdered, and is raised by the spirits and others beings who live there.
Young Bod (short for Nobody) is adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Owens, a kindly couple who died childless, and watched over by Silas, a mysterious and powerful being who is neither alive nor dead. Bod learns the secrets of the graveyard, and things no living beings know. As he grows up, he begins to encounter the living from time to time, and a curiosity is sparked. All the while, Jack, the man who murdered his family, is hoping to correct his failure by finding and finishing of Bod as well.
Gaiman populates The Graveyard Book with all the sorts of mystical and fantastic creatures he is known for. Silas’ wonderful, Eastern European substitute guardian Miss Luprescu is surely my favorite, but from ghouls to witches and other denizens of the dead, there is something to astound and capture everyone’s imagination. Watch for this one when it’s published in September.
Of course, friends of mine will know I’ve got a long-standing admiration for Mr. Gaiman, and about a month ago, while attending BookExpo America in Los Angeles, I was able to meet and hang out with Mr. Gaiman not once, but twice! The second time I even was so bold as to ask to have my picture taken with him. It was a geeky thing to do, and I’m smiling way too hard in the photo, but at least I hvae it. I’ve been reading Neil’s work since the 80’s when he broke into comics at DC with the Black Orchid miniseries. Shortly after that Neil began what has become arguably his most popular work, The Sandman. His work as a novelist began with the riotously fun Good Omens, co-written by Terry Pratchett. He has since hit the NYT bestsellers’ list on his own with the titles American Gods and The Anansi Boys. He has done screenplay work for such films as PRINCESS MONONOKE, MIRRORMASK, and BEOWULF. His young adult novel Coraline has been adapted for the screen and is due out later this year.
Don’t really know why, but this does make me giggle! The title on You Tube is “Project Make McCain Exciting: Gray Ambition”. Awesome.
(Yeah, Michael posts book reviews and I post stupid videos. Something for everyone, right?)
I think my geek status has lapsed! You’ve probably seen this already, but I totally missed the new beverage of choice for nerds: Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator! I usually get Red Bull every week at the grocery, but apparently, I’m a totally wuss for buying the teeny cans of pee-yellow, slightly carbonated, “gives you wings” beverage. I need to upgrade to the lime-jello-colored, half-quart, ass-kicking, made with five kinds of sugar, manly-man drink!
Just look at their awesome ad campaign. You gotta love a drink that argues “Drink BRAWNDO and not WATER because WATER is from the TOILET!!!”
Of Men and Their Mothers by Mameve Medwed - “Medwed writes with clarity and humor, and even as Maisie’s life seems to falling apart around her, we never worry too much, because things always seem to work out for the best in a Medwed novel. But what makes her work so satisfying is that those happy endings are never cheap or unearned. Maisie works hard for her happy life, and we can do naught but cheer her on when she makes it.”
Dust by Elizabeth Bear - “Bear is adept at writing big, complex sci fi sagas such as this. She also ignores convention with regard to sexuality and relationships, having her characters love come in varied forms. Bear is clearly talented, but some of she may be mixing in a few too many elements, cluttering her story to the point of distraction.”
The Perfect Waiter by Alain Claude Sulzer - “There is a lot of restraint on display, and plenty of control just waiting to snap. Sulzer and his translator John Brownjohn do a great job with language to convey the conflicting desires simmering just under the surface of these characters.”
The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein - “Garth writes the family relationships and the emotional scenes nicely, which is why so many people respond to the novel and why people are calling it a tear-jerker. While Enzo and Denny are bonded, my favorite part of the book was the way Enzo’s relationship with Eve develops. It’s tentative at first, yet grows into some of the most powerful moments in the novel.”
The House on Fortune Street by Margot Livesey - “Livesey has a strong sense of place (the book takes place in London, Edinburgh, and across the British countryside) and character, and weaves a powerfully emotional story as well. For adult drama, Livesey is master.”
Andorra by Peter Cameron - “Cameron has created a marvelous batch of eccentric characters around whom sadness seems to hover like a vapor. There are moments of brilliant honesty even as secrets are kept close to the heart, and moments of sublime revelation. Andorra makes an already sparkling body of work including The Weekend, The City of My Final Destination and Someday This Pain will be Useful to You shine even brighter.”
The Somnambulist by Jonathan Barnes - “Ultimately striving for a Neil Gaimanesque dark fantasy, The Somnambulist misses more than it hits, but judging from the first third of this tale, there’s some real talent there.”
The Thief Queen’s Daughter by Elizabeth Haydon - “Fantasy series have to work really hard to keep me engaged nowadays, and I’m pleased to say that Haydon’s The Lost Journals of Ven Polypheme has me hook, line and sinker.”
I was just watching Seinfeld on TBS and saw the latest Dunkin Donuts ad. What made you sell your song to them? I know you like coffee, but surely you think Dunkie’s coffee is overrated like I do. Don’t you? And besides, the donuts are dry and cakey and sit in your stomach like a rock.
Krispie Kreme may have been a better choice. Or if you really needed money, you coulda called me.
Don’t think I blogged about it at the time, but I was a judge at the Boston citywide spelling bee that sent the first kid from this city ever to the Scripps spelling bee in Washington this year. It was really cool cause not only did I get to ring the bell that means “Wrong! You got it wrong!” but I also got to re-pronounce the word and use it in a sentence when asked. Too fun. And our winner was really good.
We didn’t have this word, though… Oh man, I wish we had. Incidentally, this is from this year’s finals of the national bee and this kid went on to win after spelling the word guerdon. What a guerdon is, though, is anyone’s guess.
As you may or may not know, I am in Los Angeles at the BookExpo America conference. It’s my favorite professional conference that I attend, as it’s all about the publishing industry and books. You get to meet and listen to tons of authors (if you so choose) and pick up tons of free books (if you so choose.) I was really excited because I was finally (after 20 + years of admiration) going to see Neil Gaiman speak as part of a Children’s author breakfast along with Eoin Colfer, Sherman Alexie and Judy Blume. The panel was terrific and Neil was a wonderful speaker.
So several hours later, I was in the HarperCollins booth with two colleagues for a meeting with our Library Marketing reps, the wonderful Virginia Stanley and Bobby Brinson. We were chatting about various things (like the delicious cupcakes that HarperCollins were passing out) and hadn’t started the meeting yet, when I glanced over my shoulder and who should I see but… you guessed it, Neil Gaiman. Well, I think I gasped when I turned back to the others and blurted out, “Oh my God, Neil Gaiman is here.” Well, without even blinking, Virginia grabbed my arm and said, “Let me introduce you to him.” And sure enough, a few minutes later, we were chatting. It’s weird, I’m not usually “star-struck” when meeting authors, actors, filmmakers, etc. I’ve gotten quite used to it through Chlotrudis and all that, but this was very different. My heart was racing a little and I think I babbled (although Viriginia said I cam across very intelligent and composed if a little excited). We chatted about him coming to Boston, about Black Orchid, his first work in comics, and then he offered to sign my book on the spot. It was a lovely meeting; many, many thanks to Virginia. He was just darling.
Ah-aight, y’all. Everyone who told me “You have to see Zardoz because you love bad movies!” has lots of ’splaining to do. Chadd, Marlin, etc. — you really must think I don’t know how to watch a film, cause if you think this is bad… whoa. We need to have a talk.
How can anyone dislike this film? Number one: Sean Connery in nothing more than a red diaper for over half the film. Less than this picture shows. This was his fancy costume. No crap. And he trims no body hair. It actually makes a poignant point in the film, but I leave you to discover that. I don’t want to spoil the fun of the erection scene.
Number two: Young Charlotte Rampling had boobs. And she wasn’t shy about sharing them. Of course, neither was any other English actress in the 70’s, it seems, but whatever.
Number three: This film looks like I imagine most every novel or short story by Philip Jose Farmer, Ted Sturgeon, James Tiptree, or the senile Robert Heinlein of the 80’s, bless his freakishly polyamorous conservative soul. It’s just that weird. Remember the PBS version of The Lathe of Heaven? This is so much more, but it’s all about capturing that same feeling.
Number four: Well, there’s the title and why I’ll be shelving it where I will be shelving it.
Number five: There is a fantastic scene where Zed wakes the apathetics. It includes lots of same-sex kissing. A couple of girl-girl ones, of course, but even a boy-boy one! Remarkable for 1974!
Number six: Did I mention Sean Connery in the red diaper? Dude seems so proud of his hairy Scottish ass. Awesome.