Push Me Pull You

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So, I keep coming back to children’s literature when I think of what makes “me” the person I am. And sometimes it scares me.

Why do all the classics I can think of have imperialist themes?

  • Doctor Doolittle is a “vegetarian” who really craves the flesh of his patients.
  • Babar would be nothing if he didn’t learn western ways. He certainly wouldn’t be king!
  • Is the conclusion that Ozma is a “fair and gentle” ruler enough justification to alter the way of life of the people in hidden countries of Oz?
  • How do those Narnia kids have *any* real claim to the throne of the country?!

And as a postscript… do you ever have nightmares about being held up against Mary Poppins’ tape measure? I do.

I Dream of Jeannie = Fight Club?

Maybe it’s that I’ve just been laying in bed for hours on end trying to shake this cold/flu/whatever I’ve got, but I had the craziest idea regarding everyone’s favorite Barbara Eden sitcom, I Dream of Jeannie. You know how Bewitched is often cited as a coded sitcom about a gay couple? Samantha has to keep her natural flamboyancies hidden and keep her friends and family out of the living room so Dirwood won?t be ?outed?? Well, even more prevalent are arguments about which magic gal could kick her rival’s butt: Jeannie vs. Samantha. It’s a tempting debate. The two shows are pretty similar. So, following the thought… is there also hidden homo-subtext in Jeannie?

I Dream of Fight ClubIt’s kind of hard to just lay the Bewitched template on top of Jeannie. Tony doesn’t have to explain to anyone why Jeannie’s a little wacky. He totally keeps her out of sight from everyone but his best friend, Roger. (Okay, later they get married and stuff, but I’m talking about the original concept for the show.) And while Jeannie’s fellow genies show up now and then, Tony’s not afraid that they won’t behave — he’s petrified they’ll be seen at all! Endora’s pretty eccentric at first glance, but anyone in puffy pants and a fez is pretty hard to take seriously.

So if Jeannie and Tony aren’t a gay couple, why is the Major so uptight? Consider this: his greatest fear is that Dr. Bellows, a military psychiatrist, will discover what he’s bottled up — something that his horny best friend would love to get at. He’d love to get rid of it (remember, this is 1965), but it just won’t go away! It could easily make his life much more enjoyable, but he’s in total denial.

Yep. Jeannie is Tony’s inner gay boy. I can’t wait for the movie adaptation. Much more interesting than Fight Club, wouldn’t you say?