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I know why you’re paranoid. They *are* out to get you.

Okay, some days you don’t know whether to cheer or scream when you’re proven right. At this year’s Chlotrudis nominating committee meeting last Saturday, I mentioned to several people the odd fact that one cannot search “Shortbus” on IMDB and get the intended result: the beautiful soul-enriching film by John Cameron Mitchell. Now, thoughts of censorship flashed through my mind, especially because I’d searched all the other 273 Chlotrudis-eligible titles without difficulty. And because you can get to the Shortbus page through a search for John Cameron Mitchell. But silly me. I gave IMDB the benefit of the doubt and put it down to a flaked out index.

Well don’t I feel stupid? Read this. Especially the part about the films you can find in IMDB.

Question 1: What’s the big fucking deal? It’s not as if they are screening the films. The “objectionable content” isn’t displayed and never has to be.

Question 2: 9 Songs? Hello…. no more porn that The Brown Bunny, which is unretrievable by title. And A Hole in My Heart is retrievable? Holy shit.

Question 3: How does Helen Mirren feel about the fact that people can get to Caligula through her entry on IMDB… but not by the title?

Question 4: Do you know who owns IMDB? Amazon.com. I know it’s convenient. But please think again before you buy anything from them. And I apologize in advance to my friends with wish lists. You may get duplicates.

Question 5: How are you supposed to know that you aren’t getting hits because you haven’t registered and enabled “adult titles” to come up in searches?

What the hell is wrong with people?

Oh, and get this! The blog post I referenced is wrong. You don’t need an IMDB Pro account to enable “adult content” searches. But you better not be using Internet Explorer! I don’t know why yet, but in Mozilla Firefox, I can enable such searches in my free, registered account. But even with this setting enabled, I can’t find Shortbus in Internet Explorer! And I can’t even find the setting in that browser. WTF?!

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Push Me Pull You

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So, I keep coming back to children’s literature when I think of what makes “me” the person I am. And sometimes it scares me.

Why do all the classics I can think of have imperialist themes?

  • Doctor Doolittle is a “vegetarian” who really craves the flesh of his patients.
  • Babar would be nothing if he didn’t learn western ways. He certainly wouldn’t be king!
  • Is the conclusion that Ozma is a “fair and gentle” ruler enough justification to alter the way of life of the people in hidden countries of Oz?
  • How do those Narnia kids have *any* real claim to the throne of the country?!

And as a postscript… do you ever have nightmares about being held up against Mary Poppins’ tape measure? I do.