Scot and I were married on August 10, 2004, but we were almost married yesterday, September 25. When we first decided to get married, we planned the kind of ceremony and reception we wanted to have. I wanted to get married sooner rather than later (I was worried that the law allowing same-sex couples to marry in MA might be tenuous), but felt we would need about a year to plan (and save money for) the celebratory post-party. Scot wanted to have the party immediately follow the ceremony. So we settled on September 25 for a lovely outdoor ceremony and tent-reception at our friend Dee’s home. We would keep it relatively simple: cocktail party, smallish guest list, have our friend Diane officiate. We soon discovered that no matter how simple we tried to keep the wedding, it was coming up very quickly, and it was going to cost more than we had expected.
The icing on the cake was that our dear friends Susan and Chuck would be getting married in Provincetown on the same day. I have known Susan since 1979 (give or take a year) and we have stayed in touch (sporadically at times, but always genuinely) for the past 25 years. Scot and I now stay with her and Chuck each summer for getaways to P-Town. The thought that we would not be at their wedding, and they would not be at ours, was a huge disappointment.
As planning continued, Scot and I came to the realization that planning the ceremony/party we wanted for September 25 would be too much for us. We decided to elope in August. We had a lovely ceremony on our deck with only the handful of friends who were originally going to be part of the September 25 ceremony. Our reception will be held next April along with our closest friends, Gianna and Sarah, who were married this June. One fortunate side-effect of this decision was that we were able to attend Sue and Chuck’s wedding yesterday.
Sue and Chuck, a rare straight couple getting married in P-Town, had a lovely wedding overlooking the ocean at the Provincetown Inn. The weather was perfect, Susan was gorgeous (in a spectacular dress that she made herself), and the reception was lively. (Unfortunately, we had to catch the last ferry back to Boston and left early.) The ceremony was especially moving for me and Scot, as we both felt strongly attached to the date as our original wedding date. During the ceremony, it was almost as if we were renewing are still-fresh vows at a ‘phantom wedding.’
So, congratulations Sue and Chuck! We may not share the same anniversary as we briefly thought we might, but we were able to share in your glorious day and privately celebrate our own wedding day once again.